swiss chard guacamole salad

Salad time.

Check out that swiss chard. Bitches love swiss chard.

1. Take a boneless, skinless chicken breast and chop it into bite sized pieces. Stick that shit in a pan with half a teaspoon of coconut oil. Let that shit brown.

2. Take 2 cups of beautiful red swiss chard and chop it finely.

4. Take a zucchini and chop it thinly.

5. Spiralize that granny smith apple.

6. Finely chop a cup of purple cabbage. I fucking love purple cabbage.

7. Scoop out the entirety of an avocado and juice a whole lime into your salad. Add 1/8 tsp garlic salt. Mix that shit up with your bare hands.

8. Mix your chicken in. Enjoy!

Ingredients:

1 boneless skinless chicken breast

1/2 tblsp coconut oil

2 cups red swiss chard

1 granny smith apple

1 zucchini

1 cup purple cabbage

1 avocado

1 lime

Directions:

1. Brown your chicken in a pan with your coconut oil. Chop into bite sized pieces.

2. Finely chop your swiss chard, zucchini, and cabbage. Put in the bowl.

3. Spiralize your granny smith apple.

4. Juice your lime into the salad.

5. Scoop out the flesh of an avocado into that salad. 

6. Add 1/8 tsp garlic salt. Blend with your hands.

7. Add the chicken and this shit is done!

saturday salad: pork n pear slaw

So, this is a recipe post. Sort of.

A long time ago, my dad did Atkins to lose a whole bunch of weight, and it worked for a little while, though I think Atkins is pretty terrible. Anyway, he would sometimes go to Chinese restaurants and order this boneless ribs, which I also loved. I don't think I've had them since I was little.

Anyway, I was at the supermarket today and I saw these boneless pork ribs on sale, so I bought them.

My philosophy with sauces is that you can take any dish that has a sauce, especially something like sweet and sour sauce, and make a salad that has all of those same flavors and be just as satisfied. (Note: this is often not true, and I may be lying to myself). It worked this time.

Anyway, here goes the recipe. It's delicious.

1. Chop up your pork ribs into thin slices. Put this in a pan on medium heat and stir it every once in a while. Prepare your vegetables as this is going on.

2. Take this much purple cabbage, and chop it up nicely so it looks like this:

3. Take two handfuls of baby carrots and put them in a food processor (I use a Blend-Tec, but I don't know if you can do this with a normal blender). Chop into fine pieces. Put in your bowl.

4. Take a pear and spiralize it. If you don't have a spiralizer, you should totally get one if you love produce as much as I do, but I'm sure this would be delicious simply sliced thin. 

5. Take this much kale, and chop it up so it looks like this:

6. Add 1 tablespoon of olive oil and 1 tablespoon of balsamic vinegar.

7. By now, your pork should be browned. Take approximately half a pound of it and chop it up into even smaller pieces. Add it to your salad. Toss everything around until you have a nice mixture.

8. Enjoy! It's very tasty.

Ok, now for the TL;DR recipe:

Ingredients:

-1/2 lb boneless pork ribs, chopped into thin slivers

-1/4 tsp garlic salt

-1/4 tsp cayenne pepper

-1/2 head purple cabbage, sliced thin

-1 cup baby carrots, finely chopped in a food processor

-1 bartlett pear, spiralized

-1 cup kale, finely chopped

-1 tblsp olive oil

-1 tblsp balsamic vinegar

Directions:

1. Put your pork in a pan and add your spices. Let this cook over medium heat while you prep your vegetables.

2. Finely chop your cabbage, carrotts, pear, and kale. Put them in a bowl.

3. Add your olive oil and vinegar.

4. By this point in time, your pork should be browned. Chop 1/2 lb of it into tiny pieces and put in your bowl.

5. Toss your salad. 

Enjoy!

/bitchesloveproduce